Los Angeles, CA -- (SBWIRE) -- 03/17/2015 -- There are many styles of fighting and this is not good news for most couples, especially when there is either a cultural or sociological clash. It's important to know what people's fighting styles are, to help them understand if they are trying to heal their relationship or harm it. Each style can only achieve one or the other and while many of the combinations have made for great TV comedies, they can be downright deadly for couples.
Howard Bronson the author of How To Make An Impossible Marriage Possible, looks at a few
The Brooklyn. This embodies the classic phrase, "Whaddayou lookin' at?" It describes any individual who seeks a fight with the nearest subject based solely on their own mood. This implies that the recipient of the verbal (or other) abuse is innocent and, has done nothing to precipitate the abuse, other than be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. So,"Whadda you lookin' at?"
The Lawyer. This solicitor of the salacious has one goal during any fight: To win. It doesn't matter if they are dead wrong, their only goal is to dominate and prevail. They never apologize. They never look at their own issues, and their relationships are usually under-evolved.
The Terminator. This is someone who successfully employs intimidation to forcefully stop a fight or argument before it happens. Sometimes civil disagreements need to happen, so The Terminator is not necessarily the peacemaker that he or she thinks he/she is.
The Exploder. We all know those individuals who build up lots of frustration over a protracted period of time and then will blow up, under any circumstance.
The Actor. This is someone who goes to dramatic extremes to impress upon their subject how extensive their emotional wounds are, all based on the world, you or both.
The Cloaker. Do you know anyone who automatically either closes down or, just plain disappears, at the first sign of a fight? These are Cloakers. Cloakers postpone reschedule conflict issues into oblivion. Don't ever agree to carry their baggage for them. It's way too heavy!
The Evil Surgeon. The surgeon is one of the most dangerous and damaging of fighting styles because they know your weak points. They surgically excise them from your spirit, twist them around for their own benefit and then, reinsert them.
The Fake Therapist. We all know someone who tries abject logic, compassion on feuding parties, while having no reasonable management of their own lives. Fake therapists irritate us because they make sense at the moment and it's hard to argue with them.
The Hippie. This is the individual who agrees with everything you say and promises they only want everyone to get along (except when they're not getting along).
The Sea Captain. This is the soul who appreciates the calm waters. And when the marriage hits stormy seas, they batten down the hatches and ride it through. The Sea Captain is often the model husband until they endure one too many storms and suddenly, they themselves become sea sick.
And finally …
The Well-Intentioned Communicator. No playfulness here. This is the one we all need to try to instill within each of us—to be able to effectively communicate in love, understanding, reason and fairness. This isn't easy and doesn't always work out. Some necessary behavioral changes are a process or a campaign. With the intention to help and heal, you'll eventually do much more good than harm. There is one condition: Your partner has to try to rid themselves of their damaging fighting style and slowly replace it with a healing one.
From Howard Bronson's powerful new book 'How To Make An Impossible Marriage Possible' To order your print or e-version now, please go to http://amzn.to/1AKa9PS
CONTACT: Kerry McQuisten, Publisher
Black Lyon Publishing, LLC
541-519-0572
About Howard Bronson
Howard Bronson is the author of How To Make An Impossible Marriage Possible, looks at a few.