It seems like there is always another holiday right around the corner, so instead of celebrating by giving another corny card, fattening candy, or electronic doodad how about giving your partner a gift that will make your relationship exciting, fun, and energizing! NO… not a Timeshare in Playa Del Carmen.... We are talking about SEX!
Orlando, FL -- (ReleaseWire) -- 03/24/2016 --Yeah, yeah, yeah… You've read all the articles on spicy moves in the bedroom, tried incredibly romantic gestures, and even started adding reminders to your phone. Yet it never fully brings back those days when you first met. Everyone seems to have a new trick to turn the clock back, but guess what? It's all BS!
Sure that type of stuff can be good for a temporary solution, but by stooping to those types of tricks you're ignoring reality. Those are all excuses to HAVE SEX! Why should you need an excuse? To cancel out all the excuses you have NOT to get intimate? …Long day at work… Kids are going crazy… Stress and frustration… Sound familiar?
Here is what you need to understand in order to start correcting the issues. If you really craved a sexual experience with your partner, none of those excuses would matter. The problem is that your subconscious has stopped relating intimacy to the things like fun, excitement, passion, and love. Instead, after years of allowing yourselves to fall into routines, getting out of shape, and having less focus on each other your subconscious has linked intimate acts with your partner to exhaustion, stress, conflict, and even disappointment. This is much more prevalent in women, but is still a strong factor in men as well. Good news, there is a solution!
Think of how you treat sex. If you have a good date night, you might have sex. If you want to celebrate an accomplishment, you might have sex. If it's a special occasion, you might have sex. Think of it like training a dog. Other than drunken sex (when all of those negative inhibitions are suppressed) sex is the treat given for good behavior. All you have to do is change the equation and make the intimate moments the things that are positively rewarded. Men, and especially women, need to feel good about being intimate to get the full enjoyment out of it. And if when you both feel good as a couple then the lightest interaction can become one of the best experiences you've ever had together.
Now this is much easier said than done. But if you and your partner are committed to transforming back into that couple that was all over each other, then here is the general blueprint:
Get a Good Website-
Yes, a sex toy store. The larger sites are OK, but you want something that is going to be new to both of you, has good variety and pricing, and has less junk mail. Try www.AdultPleasureHeaven.com or maybe www.GetDirty.us to start. They have a good selection of products, discreet shipping, and they won't spam you to death or share your information. This will be a good resource for exploring different areas of your sexuality together.
Make a List-
Take the time to separately list the things about sex that you have grown to dislike, and the feelings you get and excuses that come up to make you decide against it. *Note that this is not a list of things your partner does wrong, or not enough, etc. This is just sex in general and you. Then share your lists, compare, and take notice of the hang-ups that have caused your partners turn-offs. Make an effort to privately help avoid your partner's hang-ups. Always keep in mind that negative thoughts, comments, reactions, etc are like poison to your plan. So help each other find solutions and keep each other positive.
Find New Experiences-
Go through Adult Pleasure Heaven and find some fun things, some new things, and some things you both might be a little nervous to try. Make a pact to get some new toys or gifts on a regular basis throughout the process to keep something new and exciting associated with your intimacy together.
Think up some rewards, both immediate and long term, to go along with your new intimacy. Think of immediate things like special wine/beer, a night out, even watching your favorite show; and long term things like a special trip, a new TV, or tickets to a concert. Then all you have to do before you get those rewards is get intimate. Remember to stay away from normal, try a new product or outfit out, or play a sexy game, attempt something you never thought you would, etc.
Listen and Learn-
Start taking note and talking about your changes in mood, how you feel together, what new things are keepers and what you'd rather not try again. Start getting more comfortable with opening up to each other, and compliment one another about great experiences. Be honest, and remain positive
After you get the hang of it you will immediately start to notice those reward nights out are spent smiling and laughing, that you have more energy to go hang out with the kids, that you feel and look better, and that the stress seams to dissolve much faster than it did before. Best of all you have both given each other the best gift ever, which raises the new problem of how to top that for the next holiday. By then, I'm sure those gifts will be meant for behind closed doors!
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